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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Struggles









Blouse: Forever 21 |  Skirt: Forever 21  | Shoes: Piperlime

Whenever I see someone extremely successful at whatever they do, I instantly think they have it all together and nothing in their life is hard.  Since they are so amazing, they obviously have never dealt with trials or weakness so that is why they are so successful.  Totally false! I quickly realized that once I started to lose weight.  I realized how even though we may seem like we have it all together, behind the scenes there is a sink full of dishes, 450 tantrums thrown by both me and my kids, and lots of self-doubt.

I like to keep things real and honest on my blog and social media.  I have never wanted to sugar coat or make it seem like I know exactly what I am doing because honestly, I am trying to figure it out just like everyone else.  The only difference is I just started sooner at losing weight than someone else.  I struggle with food still.  Food will always be a weakness of mine.  I know that I am a food addict and I have come to terms that for the rest of my life. I just have to monitor that and balance the good and bad.  In the beginning, I can remember waking up in the morning, crying because it was so depressing that I would never be able to just eat a cookie and not care.  I now consciously decide what foods go into my body because I care about how my body functions and looks which is opposite from the past. I lost weight so fast that now I am having to remind myself not to be afraid of food.  For so long, my brain just kept on the path of weight loss, not even caring about unhealthy food whereas now since I have lost this huge amount of weight, I am more comfortable with who I am.  I don't sweat a bowl of ice cream once a week.  However, that complacency has been difficult to adjust to.  

Besides weight loss, I struggle with the desire to have more kids.  I want more children, but the selfish thought in my mind is not wanting to give up my hardcore workouts or gain who knows how much weight.  Ideally, I plan on working out whenever I have another child and I plan on gaining a healthy amount of weight, but of course plans never go the way you want.  I just struggle with the idea of not being in control. 

Accepting my body has been hard for me.  I want to look perfect.  I focus on that goal so much more than I focus on the actual progress that I have made.  I honestly do feel good in my skin! I love the way I look.  But just like the next person, I have more goals for myself. We all want what we don't have.

Moral of this post is that even though I have lost 100 lbs, I am just like everyone else.  I just struggle.  I do not have anything together! Realizing this about myself has been much easier to accept and I don't feel like beating myself up over every day.  Even though I may not be at my ultimate weight goal, I am pretty close.  I have worked pretty hard and recognizing that is just as important as getting there.  







7 comments:

  1. What a great post, it's so true! I sometimes find myself getting caught up in other people successes thinking, "man, I want to be at that point in life." Whether that be a cool job, a bit thinner, or a house; forgetting that everyone has their struggles no matter where they are at on their journey. Just got to keep on my on path and be inspired by the awesome people that surround me! Thanks for being such an inspiration to others Diana, you're awesome!

    Bri
    www.breezydaysblog.com

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  2. I totally agree with your feelings- I love the quote "don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle" because it's so true! Thanks for posting this!

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  3. Thank you for keeping it real! I tend to have grass is greener syndrome "when I hit my goal weight life will be perfect" but I know from past non-weight related experiences that life never actually works that way. :). It's good to always have goals, most of all its good to keep moving. Thank you for this post! I needed to read it!

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  4. Really love this post! I'm a freshman at BYU and I absolutely love reading your blog and reading about your story. I think one of the things we all struggle with is comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel, so thank you for being so open about your behind-the-scenes with all of us!

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  5. You're awesome! Such an inspiration! I love how you keep it real! I've dealt with the same thing as far you think once you get to a certain weight you'll be happy and then you just keep moving your own mark and never letting yourself be happy with how you are and celebrating all your progress! I think you look FANTASTIC! Seriously way to go, you're the real deal! Love following you on IG and your blog --keep up the positive self talk and hard core attitude! ;)
    ❤️Amy Weston
    trumanandamyweston.blogspot.com

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  6. My jump started at Pinterest and I'm loving your story. Anyway to get a link to the beginning? I really don't want to hit "older posts" that many times.

    Love the shoes!

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  7. I love this! I'm in my fourth (and last pregnancy) with only five weeks left Ive gained under ten pounds, go to the y with a trainee for weight training twice per week and walk 3-4 miles with a stroller most days-it's taken a conscious effort, but not really, with my first two I was not active prior to pregnancy. Between two and three I started running and ran my first several half marathons and first full. I'm still plus sized with a lot of weight to lose but im pretty fit and nowhere near your space in the journey, but I'm just saying, with support from your doctor and a trainer who knows your pregnancy stage, you'll be amazed how active you can stay in pregnancy (if you choose to have another). The fear is real though! Great post!

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